i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
