dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
