I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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