The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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