well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
