and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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