They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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