So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
