thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
