I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
