And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
40s are totally the cure
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
