Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
