You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
