Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
