i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
