happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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