You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
