An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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