those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
