I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
