god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
