high people should be assigned attendants
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
