wanna go halves on a baby?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
