and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
