as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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