The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
