thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
