the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
