i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
