i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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