I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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