We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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