how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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