I love black thongs
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
