Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
