Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
