Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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