am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
