So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
