Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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