U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I met the friendliest cop last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
