My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
