how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
