I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
