Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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