So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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