It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
