I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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