I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
