You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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