TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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