My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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