in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
