Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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