he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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