So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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